Shine On You Crazy Diamond

What I am doing tomorrow

2011-05-19T04:31:00.000-07:00

Dear all,

This mail might come as a surprise to some of you and to some others I am sure it would seem like something I would do.

India has seen a lot of scams being uncovered last and this year. A lot of our tax money that the Government gave out for various 'projects' has gone towards filling the pockets of a very few. While we ride on clogged up roads with sewage covers and pothole risking our lives everyday a few others have been wiring bucket loads of cash to their swiss bank accounts.

We see a lot of high profile cases now where people are getting arrested (Suresh Kalmadi) so that should mean that we have a bright future to look forward to right?

At least I thought so and I saw the new UID initiative, lamely named Aadhar, as a part of this brighter future. We were moving towards a system that a lot of other countries already have in place; like the Social Security Number in the US and NRIC in Singapore. In short, the UID is going to be a unique number that identifies you for which they will be capturing and storing your finger prints, retinal scans, name, address and so on. This will then be used for getting a bank account, registering for LPG, getting a passport and all the very important tasks where till now you had to submit shit-loads of paperwork.

That all sounds good right?

Leaving aside the not-so-good implications of the methods they are using, I was still excited about getting my own UID card so that when I visit 'places where identity/birth date proof is required' I wouldn't have to carry my passport! The situation on the ground is a lot worse. People have complained about finger print scanning machines taking as long as half an hour. Long queues that would make you turn back and go home. Extremely rude people at assigned centers who close the center hours before closing time! In one case, they are reportedly closing it at 4pm when its supposed to be open till 7 pm!

Talking about my personal experience, today I visited one of the UID centers for my area and I found the doors locked. The guy standing there threateningly informed me that the queue inside is too long and that they are closing the gates now knowing that if they can 'only handle these many people before closing time'. There are other cases of old people facing similar problems.

There are so many questions I have!
Where are the advertisements/announcements announcing the locations of these centers? Has all advertising space been taken up by hoardings advertising the birthdays of some shades-wearing, covered in gold politician?!

Why are these centers supplied with faulty equipment? What is the point of standing in the queues for 4 hours (as a couple told us today) when the machines don't even work?

How do I even know that they are doing a good job of capturing my data?

Why should I even rush to get my UID done?

How is it that these organizations (usually schools) that were PAID for hosting these centers are locking their doors before closing time and turning us back?

Why am I the only one who is feeling very very angry about this?

Are we so apathetic now that we are way beyond any kind of help?!

As you can see, I have started to lose it.

My solution to all this
I am going to make a documentary. The center near my place closes on Saturday and I am going to go there with my camera and record everything. Record how the gates are locked. Record the accounts of people who are coming out. Record experiences of people who have been through the process. And even record the inside of the center if I can. And then I am going to publicize it as much as I can.

I am going to be there to do what I can. These people need to know that they can't so easily f*%k with us and get away with it. I have my camera and microphone and that is all that I will need. If anyone else is willing to join in please do let me know because I can use all the help I can get. We are not going there to protest, merely to record but I can't promise you that it won't get ugly...so if you do join in, do so at your own risk.

That is all from me. Yes it is another long mail from Yash but if this doesn't get you out of your seats and make you feel like doing something then it surely wasn't long enough.

That is all from me.

If you are interested please do contact me.

Take care and be safe.

All Smoke And No Fire

2011-02-26T03:11:00.000-08:00

As I knocked on the door of my boss's office for what I believed the last time I couldn't help but be conscious about the thick layer of sweat on my body.

"Please come in." My boss had always been very courteous and friendly.

I almost stumbled to the chair across from where he was seated at his table. He looked at me with a beaming smile. I don't know how long I stared back at him but it felt like I was seeing him for the first time. He was leaning back in his bed-like chair. Dressed in his typical white shirt and light brown pants he wore his dusty grey hair in a ruffled manner.

"I heard you wanted to talk to me about something?" He tried to break the awkward silence.

As if woken out of a trance I hastily pushed the piece of paper I was holding towards him. It slid smoothly across the table and came to a stop in front of him. At the time at least it felt like a confident and defiant gesture to me.

He read through the paper faster than I had imagined. I was hoping that I would get some time to calm my nerves while he read through why I had decided to quit. He looked up at me without any shock or anger on his face. I was surprised.

"So I guess this is the part where we talk about this huh? And I will be doing my best to retain you. You know that. Why don't you go first? Tell me why you want to leave us." He said, almost with a huge grin on his face as if he was welcoming me to the company.

I readily jumped into the speech I had prepared.
"It all started a few years ago - "

"Yes I am listening." He interrupted.

"- I was going through some rough time, just like a lot of my peers at the time were. Before that year I would have never imagined myself doing this work but I think something inside me snapped that year. My friend introduced me and I liked how the work we do here made me feel. It took me a long time to accept what I had become. I rationalized my decisions saying it was just something I did when I was not in my senses. Or that I can quit any day - "

"I am sure it wasn't all bad!" He interrupted again.

"- no it wasn't. The work helped me destress. It seemed like it was taking all my troubles away in an instant. I could always bond with old and new friends over work and I sure have some good memories of that. But now I know that was just an illusion."

He gave me a look of total confusion. Was he deliberately trying to throw me off? I continued.

"It is affecting my health. It is affecting my relationships. And I know that it will affect other people around me. It only used to take up one or two hours of my life but now it has reached a point where it takes up my whole day. It is the first thing I think of when I wake up. When I go to sleep. After a meal. After a drink. After pretty much everything. I have become dependent. I think...I mean..I know I want to quit!"

I immediately regretted faltering at the end and I felt him pouncing on the opportunity. He sat up in his chair and started with a patronizing tone.

"You have all valid concerns there. If something was affecting my life that way I would have quit long time ago. But I am not sure that you are facing these problems because of the work we do here. We have had cases like yours before and you know - we always take care of our own. They all had inherent psychological or physical problems and we got them the help they needed!"

"I don't - " I wanted to inform him of my completely reliable sanity.

"Hear me out. Here, at this firm, we care for our employees. Our own people. I am afraid that you will make a rash decision here and then regret it later. Quitting now, at this age, you will miss out on hanging out with your friends every single day. You must agree that things will never be the same with them. And not only will you lose your friends, there have been plenty of cases in the past where an employee quit and he could not handle being away from this work. That only led to his otherwise normal relationships with his family and friends getting worse and worse till one day - he snapped! And he had to come begging for his job. We of course welcomed him but why did he have to go through all that unnecessary embarrassment?!"

He had worked himself up into a mild frenzy and he paused for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he leaned forward and almost continued in a whisper.

"Look. I am not asking you to do this work for your whole life. Enjoy it while you can and then quit. Look at you. You are so young! This isn't the time for you to worry about all this..."

I knew where he was going with all this. I had heard his speech before. All this time I had been almost cowering. I sat up straight and looked him in the eye.

"No. Sir. I want to quit. That is my final decision." My voice resounded with a hollow confidence.

He looked at me as if I had suddenly left him with no choice.

"It didn't have to be like this. I never wanted things to come to this but..."
He trailed off as he searched through a file in his desk drawer.

He pulled out a piece of paper and slid it towards me. A photocopy of a letter with my signature on it. I did not remember signing it.

"...I know you don't remember signing that. But you did. This is no way to retain an employee and I am always against using such trumps but you leave me no choice. Read it."

I could swear his eyes were glowing red and it felt like he had suddenly grown a lot taller and wider as he leaned forward in his chair. His presence saturated the room. He surely meant business.

I couldn't believe what I was reading. The writing on that page was brief but it aptly captured everything without leaving any loopholes.

"I...I...I signed off my life? What is this nonsense? You expect me to believe this crap?"

"Believe what you want but understand this. I. Own. You. This company owns you. You signed off your life. You will be a slave to this work till I want you to be." Each word of his was cutting through my brain.

Then it happened. A sudden flash of a memory long forgotten. A drunken night at an office party. Someone offering me the letter and me in my intoxicated state not thinking twice before signing it. That was the night when I started the work and that was the only night when I enjoyed it the most. I felt cool and I felt closer to my friends. We were one in death. At least we suddenly were riding along the same fatal roads to an eventual premature demise. I felt like I had reached a new high.

"How conveniently you had forgotten all about it!" My boss could read my mind.

I knew there was nothing more to say. The situation was not impossible. I could fight it. But everything else that he had said about me regretting my decision suddenly started weighing on my mind. I felt my resolve complete snap and dissolve.

Shakily I got off the chair and turned around without looking at him. As I reached the door I heard him call my name. He was again leaning back on his chair the way he was when I entered the room. He again had that courteous smile on his face. He had me. He owned me.

"I am glad we could have this talk. Welcome back."

I let the door close lightly behind me as I walked back to my desk. I knew once I reached there I would be able to de-stress myself by getting lost in some work. Other colleagues, Other friends around me were lost in their work. I wondered how many of them had attempted to quit.

Suddenly, not being alone on this road didn't seem like much of a consolation.

10 Intelligent Solutions For Fixing Pune's Traffic Woes

2011-01-13T06:52:00.000-08:00

Given below are my entirely serious opinions on how to fix traffic problems in Pune.

1. Teach people to drive on the correct side. Driving on the wrong side can get them killed.

2. You should always overtake someone from their right. Trying to overtake someone from their left will get you killed.

3. If you are a slow vehicle stick to the left side of the road. We don't have lanes on most roads but do use your common sense. Sitting inside your little box, slowly rolling along the road you might feel like you are breaking the sound barrier but you are not even travelling at speed that would kill a fly if it hits your windshield. If you don't follow this simple rule then the other drivers have the right to (I might say it is their duty) to nudge your vehicle forcefully till it is pushed off the road.

4. Cutting someone off when they are peacefully driving is not right. If you were having a peaceful meal and I came and shoved a fork in your eye you wont like it. Same applies here.

5. Don't buy a car in a city where the roads are barely big enough to accommodate one. You are a bigger idiot if you buy one of those cars with a big ass. Not only do you block the rest of the traffic, you yourself are like a huge rock in the middle of a river. Good luck getting anywhere dumb-ass!

6. While we are on the subject, don't use your big vehicle to bully other smaller vehicles (like motorbikes). Threatening to kill someone smaller just so that you can cut them off on the road automatically earns you a punch to the face (this is the nicest punishment ever).

7. Don't park your in front of parking spaces. It makes you look like you have been failing kindergarten for the past 20 years. If such vehicles are found other drivers can surely go ahead and dismantle it to its bare parts and spread those parts all over the city (Hint: The exhaust will be hidden inside the owner of the car!).

8. Taking a wedding procession out in the middle of an extremely busy road is only going to earn you curses from thousands of people. Surely not how you wanted to spend your special day. In fact I guess you deserve them if you think loudly playing hot, hot Bollywood numbers is the highlight of your wedding and the start to a successful marriage.

9. Don't take shit from corrupt police. They are the scum of the land. They are employed so that they can serve us. The way things are now, its like a bunch of parasites are ruling over us. Stop being such sheeple.

10. If you are a pedestrian understand the hierarchy. Walking in front of a fast moving vehicle and signalling them to stop while you cross the road is a sure way of ending up with major fractures (if not worse). Don't frustrate the drivers so much that they start designing a game called 'Who flattens the most pedestrians!'.

But yash, killing or torturing these people is hardly going to solve anything!

I have felt the frustration and the risk of dying because of them.

So better them than me.

Smell Of Solitude

2010-12-20T09:46:00.000-08:00

Cold wall. The whirring sound of a broken fan. Distant sound of traffic. Quiet of the night. Stale smell of trapped air.

Fingers typing. Faster and faster. Vainly trying to maintain conversations.

Hungry stomach. Light headed. Smoke in the air. Empty space.

Wet eyes. Surge of anger. Fighting self. Helplessness. Embarrassment. Resolve. Repeating. Cyclic.

No hope.

Tempting end. Craving for a conclusion. Taking control. Loosing control. Holding on. Wanting to let go.

Brief pain. Permanent relief.

I am

2010-12-20T09:10:00.000-08:00

I am more than life
Death has little sway
I am more than my presence
I exist even in my absence
I am unlimited energy
I am unwavering resolve
I can call upon an infinite strength
I can conquer fear
I ride my anger at the speed of light
I drink in all the happiness
And not care for hollow actions
I try to make the most of each second

One day you will say I am gone
One day you won't sense me anymore
My organs will stop
My thoughts will stagnate
They might bury, burn or freeze me
But know this,
I will always be here
Forever strong.

Dedicated to recent deaths.

Silly Girl

2010-12-05T10:30:00.000-08:00

AKA "A nice thing from the past"

This story is about a cute girl. A cute pretty little girl. Her mind was very different to the rest. Which made it harder for them to understand her. Yes even the people who were close to her.

Silly was just different. She tried to think in ways most people couldn't even imagine. This sometimes confused her. And almost always confused the people around her.

They would always say. "Silly you are so complicated! " "Silly I don't understand but I don't think you are right." Sometimes they even said - "hmmmm".

So silly decided. She was going to find the simplest truth. She assumed that would solve all of her troubles. An answer to all of her questions. The ultimate truth.

Taking the simplest way, she went to the nearest wise holy man. But he just looked at her all confused just like the rest of them. "Silly, what you ask for is too complicated!", he said. "If I knew of such a truth I wouldn't just be sitting here. I would be the richest man in the world!"

Not at all dejected by the current reply silly skipped and skipped till she reached her friends. She decided she will try asking them. After all they knew her better than some random wise guy! They looked at her as if she was asking them something that was too mature for them. "We are just kids silly! Lets just be that. Lets play and have fun. Leave all these difficult questions to the adults.", they argued.

Not giving up, silly decided that she will give it one more go. She went to her mother. She assumed that her mother was the wisest woman around who knew her well and was also fairly mature. She had seen the world and she must be very knowledgeable! Silly's mommy looked at her with a smile. She picked her up and gave her a kiss on her nose. Silly knew that she had finally found the right person to ask. Her mother knows the answer!

Sillys mother said, "Silly I love you. There is only one truth in the world. Be who you are. Love yourself for who you are! Everything else will surely become simple. That is the answer that will make all your answers simple." Sillys mother gave her another kiss and put her down.

For a while silly was satisfied. She thought she had found the answer! But then she realised that she couldn't define who she was! And how is she supposed to love something she doesn't completely know. And what if she changes tomorrow? Now she was more confused than ever!

She slowly walked over to the mirror and sighed. "I don't think I will ever figure this out," Suddenly a voice said "hi".

Silly looked up and saw her reflection in the mirror waving at her! It said, "Silly, what our mother said is true. Learn to love yourself. But you should also understand that you already know the simple truth. You already know it!"

"The simple truth is to always question. Always ask why. Never be satisfied with what you know. Always learn. And dont be ashamed to learn. Once you get over the fear of asking questions all the answers will come easily. You will have the courage to ask anyone."

Silly now understood that life is complicated. Just like her. And that is what makes it so much fun. She vowed that from now on she will ask as many questions as she can. And know a lot!

After all being curious was her own special natural gift...

Like Mother, Like Son

2010-07-03T04:22:00.000-07:00

"...and we are going live in 1...2..."

"Channel 4. Your trusted source for Real news."

"Good evening and welcome to the last segment of our program. I am Jim, your host for tonight, and we just had an intense conversation with the unbeatable Fashion Mogul of today - Paricè Towers. I never knew that the colour of your socks was so important to who and what you are. Thank you for that one Ms. Towers."

"Our next guest is Mrs. Houl. Now, most of you who are wondering who Mrs. Houl is let me remind you of a story we did a few weeks ago when a young man,her son, was ridiculed by the residents of his town for lying. We all lie but this story made the news because of the scale of this lie. The young man who tended to his sheep daily, understandably, got bored of this tiresome job and chose to play a prank on the people around by pretending that his sheep were being attacked by a pack of wolves. After hearing his cry for help a large mass of residents gathered with sticks and shotguns and scaled the hill that evening, only to find a lone snickering young man staring back at them. Despite the mounting anger and physical threats towards his nonchalant attitude, the young man, who shall remained un-named as per Mrs. Houl's request, went on to continue pulling his pranks at regular intervals until one day when a pack of wolves actually descended onto his flock and cleaned them out. He himself was injured when he made a futile attempt to protect the sheep. The phrase 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf' was coined right here on this network."

"Since then, the young man and his family have received no sympathy or consideration from the town folk but Mrs. Houl is here to discuss with a matter of even graver importance. According to her, her son was abducted a few days ago and despite her efforts she has not been able to find any clues for his whereabouts."
"Mrs. Houl, would you like to elaborate on why you are here today?"

"I am here to find my son. We have had plenty of sleepless nights looking for him. He could be out there right now and the people in that *beep* *beep* town of ours - "

"Mrs. Houl."

" - need to get off their - "

"Mrs. Houl! Please refrain from using words like those. We are live on National Television and we do have rules. You have this excellent opportunity to save your son. To tell the world about what really happened to your son. We all understand your frustration - "

"No Jim. You don't. Do you have a son? If your son were to be disappear you would turn everything upside down till you found him and all these people watching would be with you. I called up the Police and they told me that he will come back some day. I even talked to the Mayor. No one seems to care! No one cares and everyone is OK with not caring. They all think that they know what is going on. That this is just another prank my boy is pulling on them."

"Mrs. Houl. We will get to that. But please first tell us what exactly happened."

"...Everyone knows that my son was tending to sheep but what no one knows is that those sheep did not belong to us. They were from Filch's farm - "

"Mr. Filch? The business tycoon?"

"Yes! That *beep* *beep* *beep* - "

"Mrs. Houl! I am sorry but next time my crew will be forced to cut your mic."

"...Mr. Filch, owned those sheep. My son was just tending to them. He was severely Dyslexic and this was the best job he could find at the time. Even when people were angry at him for playing those pranks he barely understood what he was doing wrong. When the sheep were killed we started getting threatening phone calls from someone asking for $10000 for the two dozen or so sheep killed. When we were unable to pay the money by the last week of March my son disappeared. He left home to buy bread and that was the last I saw of him."

"There could be several reasons for your son's disappearance. Maybe he ran away from home. Maybe he, god forbid, met with an accident. Maybe he was abducted by someone else."

"No! I know the voice of that SON OF A...Sorry. I know Filch's voice. I know his ways. You think being filthy rich stops him from caring about a few sheep? He will gather every single dollar and if he can't he will come after your family. He likes to get personally involved in such matters. Believe me Jim. I know my boy is somewhere out there, kidnapped by Filch's men. They are just waiting for their money and any day now I am going to get a phone call from the."

"Mrs. Houl, what if there is no phone call? How long are you going to believe that he was kidnapped by Mr. Filch before you decide to look for other reasons your son might have disappeared?"

"That time won't come. Call it mother's instinct Jim. I know my son is not the brightest out there but I know he won't get into any trouble. Any accident. He won't go longer than a day without informing me where he is going and when he will be back. If he hasn't done that it can only mean that he was taken by force."

"Now Mrs. Houl, your son is not as innocent as you make him sound. Frankly speaking, he has been nothing short of a nuisance for the community for a while now and even then, all this time, supported your son. You defended him for the public disturbance he had caused.There is a reason why people are skeptical about this. Let me give you an example, you say that you haven't slept for days. That you are exhausted. But looking at you no one would guess that. How are the people supposed to believe you this time?"

"Does it really matter? Do you really think what people believe matters to me? My son is missing! And if he is not found soon then he will most likely be killed! I just wish these *beep*-ING PEOPLE WOULD GET OVER THEIR HURT EGOS AND DO SOME *beep**beep**beep* THINGS *beep**beep* - "

"Thats all the time we have for today. Despite repeated warnings Mrs. Houl continued with using abusive words on air and we have an obligation to our viewers to avoid such content. We apologize for any inconvenience."

"Please join us tomorrow on Channel 4 where we will be talking to Ms. America winner Ms. White, followed by another lupine interview with a girl who claims that she was abused by a "wolf" who murdered her grandmother. Till then, Good Night and remember - the truth doesn't get more real."

Theres A Bug Going Around

2010-03-29T07:17:00.000-07:00

I wake up curled up in a fetal position. The ceiling light is blinding me but that did not wake me up. I reach for my phone that I know is somewhere near my head. It shows the time to be 3:45 am.

Didn't I fall asleep less than an hour ago? Why am I up? Something tells me that this is not the first time that I am being woken up.

I can feel goosebumps on my whole body and I can feel myself shivering. The wall fan is directly blowing in my direction and I don't have a sheet to cover myself. I still haven't moved out of the position I am in when I decide to gently turn over looking for the fan's remote.

My hand frantically searches the bed. It is not on the bed. I let my hand drop off the bed and onto the floor next to my bed, rummaging through all the things lying there. I feel my way through tissue, plastic forks, books, microphone, pens, bottle of water and an old food carton but the remote is no where to be found.

There is no way I am going to be able to get up and switch the fan off. I pull both my pillows onto myself trying to avoid the cold as much as possible and make an attempt to go back to sleep.

Sadly, that doesn't work. I am again woken up and this time not only am I shivering I can also feel my body expending copious amounts of heat. I am slightly surprised at how much worse the fever has gotten. My hand is still dangling from the side of the bed and I make another attempt to find the remote.

I finally find it, not among the things I was searching through earlier but nicely resting under the bed. How did it get there when I was using it just a while ago? That is anyone's guess. I switch the fan off and go to sleep.

It is 4:30 am and I am again woken up. This time I am drenched in sweat. The air outside the window is very stagnant and there is a constant humming of vehicles passing by. The morning trains are just starting up and they sound like old steam engines gearing up for one last journey.

My bed and pillows are soaked in sweat and I make a mental note to wash the bed sheet. Either that or throw it out. I reach out to switch the fan back on and fall asleep again.

This happens throughout the night and I give up on any hope of getting a good night's sleep. Naturally, I am up at 7:30 am in the morning. I really want to make it to work and I believe that if I can make it to office I should be OK. I can just sit at my desk and get at least a few things done but pushing off the bed is a real challenge. It feels as if I have no muscles in my arms and legs and the workout I did yesterday has left my legs feeling unusually stiff. It feels as if my whole body has shrunk as it burns to produce all the heat.

I make a few more attempts to push myself off the bed at regular intervals and all of which are utterly unsuccessful. The most energy I can muster is when I reach out to silence the early morning alarms set on my phone.

It is 01:00 pm and I have now been in bed for almost eleven hours. I still feel the same sick and drowsy feeling in my head and my muscles aren't doing a lot better. Determined to make it to work at least for half a day I roll off the bed and fall on the floor with a loud thud. Great now I am off the bed. I pull myself up using the bed and sit on it for a while, exhausted from the effort. With one big push of will I take my towel and toothbrush and walk to the bathroom.

Fuck! They still haven't fixed the water heater! So now I have to take a cold shower and I am just hoping that it will help reduce the fever. I enter the bathroom and look in the mirror. I look like a drug addict on withdrawal. I quickly brush and shower under the cold water which does not feel as bad.

I come out feeling a lot calmer and my body is a lot cooler. This, of course, hasn't at all helped with the feeling of drowsiness. I decide that even if I were to make it to work I won't be able to get much done in this state. Instead, I decide to visit a doctor nearby.

As my luck with clinics goes the one I was planning to visit is closed till 06:00 pm in the evening. What kind of a clinic is closed in the afternoon is beyond me! I travel to another clinic nearby. They make me wait for a whole good hour before I can see the doctor. Once inside he sticks the thermometer in my ear and the reading comes out to be 38.8. I definitely was not expecting it to be so high. He prescribes some of the usual painkillers, cough syrup and lozenges and I leave wondering why I couldn't have just bought them over the counter.

On reaching home I am too exhausted to even eat the lunch I had bought on the way. It doesn't even look very appetizing. I eat what I can before popping all the recommended pills and just as the doctor said they do cause extra drowsiness and I am down and out for another long nap.

I finally open my eyes and its 07:30 pm and it feels like I have forever been sweating in this old, creaking bed. The medicine effect is slowly wearing off and I reach out for some more hoping that they will keep me going through another night.

One Late Night

2010-03-03T06:48:00.000-08:00

"Stop. I think this is it."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course not. I have to go look around."

I get off the bike and walk till I am right in front of the house. Almost all the lights in the neighbourhood are switched off. Now that the motorcycle engine has died down, the loud sound of crickets fills the air. There is that faint smell of early morning dew. I glance at my watch and it shows 2 30 am.

I look back at him.

"Alright. Go home now."

He smiles, shakes his head and starts the engine.

"Asshole. Atleast say thanks!"

"Thank you bro."

"And?"

"And I owe you a beer"

"You bet."

As he drives off into the distance, for the first time I realize how dark the place is. Suddenly I am not so sure that I am standing in front of the right house. I glance back at the house number. 29. That's correct. A glance at the street name confirms that I am where I should be.

Should I go in through the gate? Maybe not. What if they have burglar alarms? Jump over the wall? Yes why don't I do that. I am sure they never expected a thief to climb over the wall!

I decide to run to the back of the house and climb the wall there. Taking a short running start , I climb it as fast as I can, landing on the other side as softly as possible.

Great. No alarms. Yet.

Facing the back of the house I stand there trying to figure out which window I should be approaching. Suddenly a silhouette appears against one of the curtains and it doesn't take me a second to recognize that its her. I gently tap the window and she pulls the curtains apart and flashes me a huge smile. Carefully she opens the window, making as little sound as possible while I am standing there holding my breath.

I lean on the window sill ready to tell her how much I missed her when she pulls me closer. She whispers in my ear about how much she was looking forward to seeing me and then our faces part for a second, just as they start moving closer again.

At first, its a faint nibbling. A faint poking of sorts at my feet. All of a sudden something is pulling on my pants and its pulling hard! Before I can understand whats happening I am on the ground and two huge dogs are growling at me. The growling eventually grows into loud, synchronized barking as they do everything they can to show me that they are not afraid of me. I am on their land and now they would like for me to pay for it. I try to make menacing movements but it doesn't seem to phase them.

Thankfully, they have let go of my pants. I sprint back towards the wall and realize I am missing my hat. Too late for that.

I scramble over the wall, not caring for any scratches or cuts. On the other side, straightening myself up I look back and my hat comes sailing over the wall. Shes standing there at the window, laughing as if she has seen the funniest thing ever. How typical of her.

I make a personal note to remind her how getting attacked by dogs that I did not know existed is not at all funny.

I put on my hat as the lights in the house start to come on. I take a last look at the window as the curtains close briskly. Turning around I start jogging away into the cold night.

A Personal Note

2010-02-27T15:34:00.000-08:00

Remember this day Yash.

The day when you could not care less about sleep.
The day when you opened up all those songs you hadn't heard for a long time.
The day when the sun came up as you were listening to Elvis.
The day when you realized all those things that you had almost forgotten about life.
A life that can be so full of ups and downs.

When no-one else can understand me
When everything I do is wrong
You give me hope and consolation

Whatever you want to do is alright with me
'Cause you make me feel, so brand new

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of

As time goes on
I realise
Just what you mean. To me.

Let's go to the park
I wanna kiss you underneath the stars
Just follow I'll lead you
I urgently need you

Today

2010-02-25T07:35:00.000-08:00

Today was a great day. I haven't woken up with a smile on my face for a long time. I usually wake up swearing at my alarm. Then it occurs to me that I have to go to work and I swear some more.

Today was different. I jumped out of the bed as the alarm rang. Showered, shaved and was on my way looking forward to my day. This kind of positivity is infectious or at least it seems so. Mundane tasks seem interesting. Daily meal at the canteen tastes better. You don't even notice when your routine in the gym is done.

Today will make this month for me. Let whatever hell come after this...

Realization

2010-02-22T08:17:00.000-08:00

I am leaving work and rushing to catch a cab. I can't possibly be getting late for this. This is an important day in your life and so - it is just as important to me.

Why do I always do this? I never think about going anywhere late. It just happens. I will be lost in doing some work and all of a sudden I realize I should have rushed out 15 minutes ago.

Doesn't matter. I will make it on time. There is no way I am missing this, even if it means I have to run all the way there.

Despite my best efforts it takes a while to find the place. I am reaching the place and about 10 minutes of the show have already passed. I am praying I did not miss any of your stuff. We rush in and quietly take our seats in the dark. I do a quick scan through the program brochure and am relieved to find that you are on a little later.

My eyes are looking at all the pretty things sway past me but I am not really registering anything. I am just too excited to see you come out. All that hard work you put in and now we get to see it.

..........

The last of your works is displayed and I am happy to see that it all went very well. Everyone is clapping. Thunderous applause. Much deserved. You walk out onto the stage for an ovation.

That's when it happens.

Suddenly out of nowhere I see how happy you make me. Seeing you up there in your beautiful dress, I know I care for you. I never thought about us this way but now it comes to me in waves more organic than thought. This is meant to be. This is my moment of clarity right here. I know I like you. I might even already be crazy about you.

I am sure doubts and obstacles will creep in later on. Things will seem unachievable and I will probably have to give up on us ever being together.

But for now, this is me, realizing.

QT and the Foot Fetish

2010-02-10T08:57:00.000-08:00

Quentin Tarantino has a foot fetish. It is well known and talked about. Every chance he gets to focus on a woman's toes you can bet that he will do it. For instance, the scene in Kill Bill I where Uma Thurman has just woken up from her coma and is trying to move her toes. There are several such scenes in his movies and he does tend to add a bit of stylish suspense or sensuality to them. So, it is not surprise that he did the same in his latest (almost as great as Pulp Fiction) addition - Inglorious Basterds.

Inglorious Basterds has several 'foot' references. I did not catch these when I first saw the movie. I was too caught up in an explosion of pure excitement that only Tarantino can deliver. Nor did I catch it on the later two viewings. I have seen the movie five times and only on my fourth time when I was really following his camera angles did I start to notice the 'foot' related theme he uses.

A list of what I saw -

1. At the start when Colonel Lans Handa arrives at Perrier LaPadite's house they carry on a conversation as the camera follows them around the room, capturing them from various angles. Finally when they settle down with Handa going through his 'formalities' of registering the names and ages of the Dreyfuses does the camera slowly start moving in a circle till it reaches LaPadite. Then it slowly moves down his leg, passing his foot to reveal the Dreyfuses actually hiding under the floorboards. Once found, except Shoshana, they are all killed.

2. At the bar when the three English spies are meeting up with Bridget Von Hammersmark, Major Hellstrom joins the conversation, carrying a beer glass shaped like a boot. He then goes on to oust them to as spies which leads to almost everyone the bar dying in a matter of seconds.

3. In the bar scene, Hammersmark leaves her shoe behind which is then later used by Lans Handa to figure out that it really was her at the bar and that she is working for the English. In this scene Tarantino gets his trademark foot fetish visual in as we see a closeup of Hammersmark's feet. Thus, once revealed as a spy she is brutally murdered.

4. Finally, once Donny and Omar are settled in their seats 0023 and 0024 the camera pans down to their feet and then we see a X-ray vision shot of the dynamite tied around their legs. Of course, the explosion of this dynamite leads to the death of everyone in the theater.

I am not sure if I missed out on any other scenes, but I do know that Tarantino put these scenes in on purpose. There is a pretty clear theme of feet->reveal->death.

Why he chose to focus on feet is anyone's guess.
Maybe he is another victim of the frequently and excessively used feet focused camera shots.
It might be that he wanted to have plenty of subtle references to his much talked about foot fetish.
Maybe it doesnt mean anything and he just likes to fuck with people who pay to watch his movie five times.

Has he used this technique in any of his other movies? I don't know but from now on I will be looking.

Helpless

2010-02-08T07:53:00.000-08:00

Powerless. A complete lack of control. More like, a complete lack of balance of control. Fix one thing and the others go down. Deem one important enough to get your attention and the rest shies away from you like a jealous girlfriend.

Hold onto everything and one day your hands will get tired. I think I am tired. This fatigue is giving birth to a growing sense of apathy. Like a psychopath I find myself looking for the right reaction to situations. I don't really understand anymore why an emotional response does not come through naturally. I have to manufacture it.

Feel optimistic about life for a second and Yesterday comes knocking on the door. "Don't forget me", it says. Happiness only shows like thin streams of light in a dark room. Gone as soon as it appears. Covered by ever hovering, ever moving clouds.

It makes me wonder sometimes. Is this what will break me one day? Will this make me turn to religion? Finally, one day, will I have to kneel in front of a God and beg for a better life? I am sure They will say that God loves everyone and you don't kneel in front of him - you just love him back. Excuse me, but I beg to differ.

Till that day I guess plodding through the rest of the days is what I can do. That and faking it.

Old List, New Names

2010-02-07T07:12:00.000-08:00

Finally I have found a banner for my blog.

A photo immediately caught my eye on one of my friend's blogs. It represented a certain sort of careless happiness to me. Not only jumping into the deep end, but jumping with a complete lack of worry. Diving to find whats beneath the surface. A child like curiosity.

I was quick to ask her if I could use it and the moment she said yes, I was in here adding it to my blog. You can find it in better resolution here.
In face, while you are at it go check out the rest of her photos. They truly are amazing. I knew that she liked taking photos and had seen some of her photos that I liked but these ones on her blog take it to a whole new level. You have earned my envy Ak.

While I was making changes to the banner I thought why not make some more changes to the layout. Made it less cluttered and added in links to some of my current favourite blogs.

It is sometimes reassuring to see that your friends face the same problems as you. They find the same things beautiful as you do. They are passionate about topics that you think about all day.

Let me play you out with another great photo.

Lunch Queue Conversations

2010-02-03T07:38:00.000-08:00

"I was thinking I should go for some chicken today but then realised I don't want to get a taste of it."

"Why not?"

"I will start wanting it every day. I want to stay vegetarian as much as possible."

"Hmm..."

"It all started as a health issue. Wanting to eat healthier. But now I think it is a moral issue."

"So you don't want to kill animals?"

"Yes."

"What about killing plants?"

"Well I got to eat something..."

"Then I guess you can survive on air, water and milk"

"What about the bacteria in all of those? Whatever I do, I will be killing something for my survival"

"Well you will go to the heaven where people who don't kill too many things go."

"Damn. Thats why God is god. He must be the only one in the main heaven. He doesn't kill anyone ever. He just exists."

"Hmm. Hehe."

"Wait. God created everything. Everything dies. God is the biggest killer of all. Why the hell is he in the main heaven?!"

"Thats because everything that he created dies, just goes back into the system. It is a closed system. What dies feeds the ones that are born."

"Zero-sum game then?"

"Yup."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Well in one of the Chinese dialects its pronounced "Potatoe" and in the other one its pronounced "Potatoe". Different pronunciation but its written the same way. Its the same word."

"How is it the same word if it is pronounced differently?"

"Because it is written exactly the same!"

"Yeah but words were formed when people started speaking them often. Whats your definition of a word?"

"Yes, but they are pronounced differently..."

"You are basically asking for the definition of a word then. What a word is?"

"Yes. I think that is much harder to gauge. I think most of what or how a word started is now forgotten."

"Yeah. Its like England and America. The Americans just refused to speak the Queen's English."

"Ehh...something like that."

Not What I Ordered

2010-02-02T06:08:00.000-08:00

I was always overweight. A tricky word that one. Most of the body-builders are overweight. But you understand what I mean when I say overweight don't you? I mean I was always fat.

My parents tell me that I was refused to come out of my mother's womb for a whole week and the good doctor finally had to cut me out. Now who would want to leave such a cozy place and I am sure if all babies had enough knowledge of the outside world they would hold their mother's wombs hostage. But what this extra time did was make me a lot heavier than any normal baby.

Just look at my baby pics. A fat baby is always cute and so was I. I remember being happy when I was young. I was more free. Free in my thoughts and actions. Not a worry in the world and all the time to play around. I was smart. I remember my kindergarten teacher telling us that I was going to go places. The only reason why I still remember that moment is because of the belief she showed in me even at that young age.

I always remember being fat. Torn shorts were a regular part of my life as a kid. So was the kind of abuse you get for carrying around all that extra weight. At times its almost on a daily basis. Be it from my friends at school, strangers on the street, my teachers and yes, even the parents. Take this and multiply it by all those school years and I was just a shell of what I could have been.

I was smart but too afraid to speak out, lest I be noticed and ridiculed.

Even for my weight I was quite athletic but was always held back by coaches and team captains.

I remember when I was young we would have this Ganesh festival stages where there would be music and for all purposes, in the night, the place would turn into a club. People would come down and dance to the most popular hindi music. The first night when I contemplated going down and joining them I was very excited. But all it took was a couple of people laughing their asses off and shaking their heads in disapproval at a fat kid trying to have some fun to kill all the love for dancing I had at the time. I haven't really enjoyed dancing since then.

Fear of buying clothes.

Fear of eating.

Fear of the numbers that show up on a weighing scale.

My point of illustrating all this is just to provide a slight glimpse into how disappointingly gloomy life can be for overweight kids. I know that not all kids get affected this severely by the degrees of abuse they might face but I believe that it has to do with how much support you have in your life. It has to do with if you have these people (pillars if I may call them) in your life who will make you feel good about yourself. Make you feel like you are a human being and nothing less. I don't really remember having anyone like that.

All of this made my weight loss that much sweeter for me. I had been yearning to go to India after I finished my O levels in Thailand. On reaching I again felt the same wave of abuse I had felt when I had left two years earlier. But this time somehow I was my own pillar. 'Fuck them' I said. 'I will show them what I can do'.
The workout routine that started then escalated into something that changed my life, if only for a few years. I started running atleast five days a week. Only two to three kilometers at the start. A few months later I was hooked. I was loving the change I was seeing in my body. I was eager to add new and more intense workouts to my routine. At my best I was going to the gym during lunch, playing sports at school and at home and then running about 6-7 kilometers everyday. If I remember correctly when I was in Korea I was spending three to four hours working out every day.

Of course, this meant no social life for me. It meant waking up every morning with painful heels and shins. It was all worth it though. I had lost more than 50 pounds and was in the best shape of my life.

But now when I think back on it, I wonder, 'who did I do all that for?'. Am I sure I did it all for myself or was it all about proving someone wrong. If so, then no wonder I lost my discipline three years later. Some part of me likes to think that to most extent I did it all for myself. I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to know what it felt like to look good in all the pants. I wanted to know what it felt like to not have to alter a pair of pants just because they are too long. I wanted to know and feel the flexibility and speed that come with being smaller. And yes, I wanted to feel accepted. I know I was treated better. I felt more confident. Life was better.

This is not the body I would have ordered for but this is what I have and I plan on doing what I feel like to guarantee that I live a happier life.

Having said that, something has to change somewhere. People making themselves feel better by making others feel smaller has to be one of the worst sins. I for one plan on doing my part. The next 'thin' abusive person I meet, I am socking him in the face.

PS: Hi. I am back. Things are going to change. To start my blog banner up there has got to go. I still read comics but now, somehow, it just seems silly. Or maybe now I would just like to talk about more serious things and Spiderman, Hulk and Deadpool just don't cut it.

The Killing Joke

2008-12-24T21:47:00.000-08:00

Click on it to read.

Spoilers ahead if you plan on reading The Killing Joke.

Wait. This should come before the pic?

Likes #2

2008-11-01T02:37:00.000-07:00

The abstract stuff is also stuff that is usually intensely personal and that is why I am glad that I can mostly express it without people usually figuring out what the drawing is about.

I have never met anyone who came close to understanding what I had drawn. It is true, that you want people to be able to draw their own interpretations, but at the same time it is also great when people figure out exactly what you are trying to convey. Sometimes, even I myself don't completely realize the complete meaning till a few months later.

At the same time, if anyone asks, I will gladly tell them what its all about.

Of course, I also enjoy drawing some goofy ones once in a while. Wherever the hand takes me.

I also end up drawing faces that I have never seen. Or at least, faces that I can't easily recognize to be anyone I know . It is ridiculously obvious to me that my skills are (very) far from perfect but I don't think that should stop me from drawing my thoughts and sharing them.

Given the kind of things I spend time watching and reading, it is not a surprise that it shows up in my drawings.

Finally, whatever else I might draw, the ones that I can look back on and get a sense of what it was like to be me back then are the most precious.

This Made Me Laugh

2008-10-16T08:47:00.000-07:00

These days, it is very likely that you will have heard every kind of joke possible. There is hardly anything that will make me sit up and take notice. So when something creative comes along I feel that its my duty to report it ("as a good samaritan").

As I was going through my routine job of marking all the items in my RSS feed as read I came across this article on one of the blogs -

Spooktoberfest Special: A Lesser Known Weakness of the Vampire

It is just a few random panels from some comic but man are those guys BAD ASS!

This is the same blog that a week or so back produced the Batchuk (Batman+nunchucks) contest. Batman is already awesome, what with the new-flashy-dark-gritty-philosophical-yet-at-the-same-time-action-packed movie, but you put a pair of unimaginable nunchucks on him and you can have a lot of fun.

Let me demonstrate,

Add equal parts Batman, nunchucks and some sharks and you will get,

Similarly,

And,
Finally, a whole gallery of "mind-blasting" Batchucks.

The Batchuck Contest

Recycled jokes might get old but anything creative and crazy never will.

A Few Reasons Why F.R.I.E.N.D.S sucks

2008-10-07T09:08:00.000-07:00

F.R.I.E.N.D.S is probably the most popular sitcom ever that has made bucketloads of money for its producers. I myself have seen all the ten seasons atleast five times. When you watch something that many times you start remembering all the dialogues. You can see everything come from a mile away.

Joey's stupidity. Ross's geekiness. Phoebe's weirdness. Chandler's wittiness. Monica's I-wish-I-could-choke-her annoyingness. Rachel's braless blondness. All become way too predictable.
But then if you are watching it so many times over you can't really complain about it becoming old. You should have probably moved on to other stuff instead of first watching it on the TV when it was new and then watching all the seasons off the university LAN a few times and then now finally watching endless F.R.I.E.N.D.S re-runs on TV every single day.

The only point I am trying to make is that I have watched that series a lot of times and now I have finally started to notice (and the first one to call me slow gets no prize) certain aspects I had never thought of before. Call it meta-data if you will.

Why does Joey gradually become dumber and dumber as the series progresses? During the first season he was a lot closer to normal. I can understand that his cute stupid acts are what made his character so endearing. But was there really a need to turn him into a cardboard character?

Who thought that making the Monica's character extra annoying when it was being played by Courtney Cox would be a good idea?

Why are there no black people in all the ten seasons even though the show is set in Manhattan? Unless you count the token black girl thrown in for the last two seasons.

Why does Ross need a excuse so that he can technically be let off the blame of cheating on his girlfriend (twice!)? First it is the fact that he cheated on her because he thought they had broken up. Then he cheats on his other girlfriend when they are at some beach house on a holiday and it is all made to seem OK because his new girlfriend is all 'weird and crazy' and ends up shaving her head. Is her shaving her head so ridiculous that it makes it all OK for him to do what he wants?

Does anyone else think that Chandler is the only sane person in the series who might actually be signaling the viewers to come rescue him so that he can move on to do better things like 'Studio 60 on the sunset strip'? Oh wait...that was actually quite crap.

How is Phoebe in season 10 different to Phoebe in season 1? Does she change at all? Does her character have any kind of an arc other than the rushed one in the final seasons where she finally has a long term relationship?

What is it with all the 'other loves' from all their lives coming back just when they are about to get married? Janice is seen again before Chandler and Monica get married. Richard is around before Chandler and Monica decide to get married. Phoebe's earlier boyfriend (the one who goes to Russia) is around when she finally decides to marry Mike (had to look that one up). Rachel is around when Ross is marrying Emily. Do the writers use a marriage template of some sort?

Saving the best one for last.
At the start of the series we see Rachel as this spoilt girl who has just walked out of her wedding and is completely dependent on people to provide for her. She actually spends all ten seasons building her own career, starting as a waitress and then finally becoming a big fashion...something. She becomes independent and actually carves herself a very nice career. She even breaks up with Ross because he is getting in the way of his work, which is also Ross's opinion as he says later on that she changed when she got her new job at Ralph Lauren. One of the main reasons she breaks up with him is because he has become insecure about her not giving him as much time and he starts doubting if some other guy is after her.
AND THEN - in the last season she gets the most awesome job that she can find. In Paris - the fashion capital (I am just assuming it is, I don't even know what it means to be the "fasion capital"). But then she goes ahead and gives all that up just so that she could stay with Ross. So in the end she ends up putting him ahead of her new awesome job and then they live happily ever after. I am not going go on with this and point out the obvious, although I will ask one question - were the writers high when they came up with this storyline? To me her character arc was an unforgivable flaw - even greater than the shitty stereotypical chick-flick ending with the guy running to stop the girl just in time before she takes off in some plane.
She should have just stayed in the kitchen.

The Other

2008-09-26T11:58:00.000-07:00

The text below summarizes the ideas of a French Philosopher - Emmanuel Levinas. It is copied directly from an article written by Andy Ho (the links have been added by me). The article argues against Euthanasia and addresses arguments that promote it as choice entailing our freedom. I do not entirely agree with the arguement and there are many other ideas presented in the arguement, but the one below is one of the most beautifully abstract views I have read in a while.

For Levinas, any of my fellow human beings - friend, neighbour and stranger alike - is "the Other", who is revealed to me by his[/her] Face. Things like a burger, an apartment or the Internet, I can incorporate by eating the food, living in my home and surfing the Web. With a fellow human, however, he is the Other that I can never incorporate - except by dissolving his Otherness if I murder him. He is thus absolutely Other than me.

For me to remain fully me, I need such others - or the Other - to relate to. So I live for the Other just as the Other lives for me. When I am confronted by my fellow human - neighbour or stranger - his Face turns him into my Other while my Face turns me into his Other.

Our Faces present all of us with the mandate to preserve one another. So I take responsibility for the Other who also takes responsibility for me. This is the most basic dimension of inter-human relationships. It stands to reason I cannot kill the Other even if he asks me to because that would dissolve his Otherness.

This humanist reason why we cannot kill one another suggests that euthanasia - even in the face of pain and imminent death - is neither a right nor a duty. Levinas would argue that death is always a violent erasure of the Other. To hasten the Other's death is to participate in the violent erasure of myself as well.

We should instead think of dying as a process in intersubjective relatedness. If behooves us to come alongside the dying to walk with and accompany them, not erase their Otherness suddenly.

It is merely a stoic ideal to want to die with equanimity and so give peace to all involved. Such an ideal is certainly a burden for those suffering unto death. But there is no duty to die. We should walk along with the dying and permit death to come at the very end - but only like a thief in the night.

- Let Death come like a thief at night printed on 25th September 2008 in The Straits Times

The End

2008-08-17T05:36:00.000-07:00

As Colin Sullivan comes back after shopping for some groceries, he tries petting a dog but its owner gives him a mild look of disgust and rushes past him. A lot of this mirrors the state of his life where he is now not only shunned by his girlfriend but his own mind is completely disturbed after the life changing events he has recently been through. For the first time in his life he is feeling something new- Guilt.

He opens the door to see Dignam waiting for him. He can tell from Dignam's attire (and the gun in his hand) that he is here to finish the domino effect that had started with Queenan's death. He puts his hands down and accepts his fate. He knows he has been an asshole. He knows he had it coming.

"Ok".

I think I am American

2008-08-13T09:28:00.000-07:00

That is the only thing that makes sense once you take a deep look at my life.

I eat excessively. I love most types of fast food, if by fast food I mean Burger King and NOT McDonalds. I enjoy Pizza.

I exercise excessively, that is when I do exercise. I am not saying all Americans exercise excessively. I am not even saying that all Americans exercise.

I am excessively ambitious at times and will stop at nothing until I achieve world domination, after which it is off to the Moon.

I love all the movies and music made in the US of A. Well you might say - "Who doesn't?". I would say - "Everyone does, but I love them excessively".

The nail in the coffin?

I really really (excessively?) want USA to top the Olympics medals tally. Why is this so important? Look at all the countries at the Olympics.

Does China want USA to win?
Fuck no.

Does Korea, Germany, Australia or even France want USA to win?
Va te faire foutre!

Does India want USA to win?
India couldn't care less who wins. We won one gold medal!

So why do I feel this strong urge for the USA to kick some ass at the Olympics? Is it because they have a very accomplished women's gymnastics team? Almost but not entirely the cause. There is only one explanation - I am American.

Move over Tiranga, make space for Captain America!

Q.E.D

Hate By Numbers

2008-08-05T19:37:00.000-07:00

Gladstone. Not his real name but that is what he goes by when he uploads his videos online.

I first came across the Hate By Numbers series while surfing cracked.com and since then it has been just the right kind of funny for me. At times I have this weird kind of sense of humor which demands the use of clever wit and deep analysis.
In other words, I like it when people can rip other people's shit apart while making them look like idiots. Gladstone does a great job at that by commenting on... No, not commenting but preying on the several weak moments that today's media has.

Fox News is his favourite and I can't blame him for it. They are just too easy.

So lets go ahead and take a look at some of the good work by Gladstone.

First up, if you thought the Shroud of Turin might be a little far fetched or thought that James Cameron might be a bit off the base then you really SHOULD not watch this.

I got to admit it. Even though the Jesus one is hilarious the following segment is my favourite.

Finally, this one takes off on the iPhone 3G. I was tempted to post another funny Fox News one but I think got to keep it varied.

Next I hope he takes off on the Indian media. But then I think they themselves are doing a great job of fucking themselves over.

In other funny news, have you seen Paris Hilton's new video in response to John McCain's campaign ad?

Rakesh Sharma's Blog

2008-07-29T03:25:00.000-07:00

One of my very first blogs was about Fascism in India.

The one important experience that motivates me to write about this is visiting the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C. The first time when I went to DC I barely had about an hour to go around the whole museum which left me with a strong hunger to go back and find out more. I got the opportunity to go back when I was leaving US and I was traveling from Penn State to the airport near DC. The whole journey was amazing because I was traveling alone, looking at DC which is one of my favourite cities in the world.
The atmosphere at the Holocaust Museum completely griped me. Learning about all that happened during the Holocaust makes you feel so helpless as it undoubtedly is one of Mankind's biggest failures. After coming across Rakesh Sharma's documentary, Final Solution, I started drawing parallels between the Fascist Nazis and some of the extremist political and social parties in India. Hitler would be proud.

Like I said in the earlier post, I won't say much. It has been said in the documentary above and elaborated on here at Rakesh Sharma's blog. His arguments are far from perfect but I doubt if they will bore you, regardless of the side you are on. Even better, I really don't think they will leave you unaffected.

‘After Killing Them, I Felt Like Maharana Pratap’
Transcript: BABU BAJRANGI

The logic of calling me or anyone else 'non-patriotic', 'wrong' or even 'anti-hindu atheist', just because we expresses our opinions against such Fascist activities, seems absurd at the very least.

How To Get A Job (Part 1)

2008-07-24T10:51:00.001-07:00

Ok anyone who knows me and my own struggle for finding a job and thinks that I know any kind of a mantra for getting a job is definitely not able to put two and two together. Having said that, I definitely have bounced around a bit and know what might work and what might not. Of course at the same time, you have to realise that there are certain things that limit my experience. I am just a fresh graduate who has studied in Singapore. I was mostly looking for a job in Singapore. I was looking for a job in the IT field. I was not ready to work for banks as I don't really think too highly of them. That kind of makes my whole testing field a LOT smaller, so take everything with a grain of salt.

Now that I have thoroughly discredited myself, here is a list of Job Search Essentials.

While applying for jobs,
1) Spend a long time preparing your Curriculum Vitae. I have seen some excellent short but detailed CVs and some very pointless ten page CVs. I don't think I need to stress which one is better. It is best to keep your CV to two pages especially if you are a fresh graduate.
(Ok, Firefox just crashed. I am so glad blogger is so well designed and all my work was saved or I would have suffered a nervous breakdown)
An effective order for the CV that I use is - Name, Contact Details, Education, Work Experience, Skills, Awards and Achievements, Hobbies, Referees.
Of course, my CV is a technical CV for an IT job and so you should try to make yours according to what you are applying, blah blah. The only think I would stress on is that you should try and keep your Work/Project Experience on the very first page. In this try and explain what you did and what you learned from it. Most of the employers seem extremely interested in this.

2) Spend a long time preparing your Cover Letter. A well written cover letter can do wonders, especially in Singapore. Through a cover letter you not only demonstrate your ability to communicate properly but at the same time you also try to convince the company to give you a chance. Needless to say you should only really have a cover letter template which you customize for each job and for some jobs you also might have to rewrite the whole cover letter. Do this even if it is a pain in the ass.

3) Do not sit back and ever think that your job of applying for jobs is done unless and until you get one. I know a lot of people who are completely frantic till they get a job. They attend career talks and career fairs. They dress well for each and every interview and they usually do get the jobs they apply for mostly because of the work they put in finding the job. Just because you graduated does not mean you will surely get a job. Being unemployed sucks, so don't even think for a second that those 50 applications you just made are surely going to get you any job offers.

4) Keep in contact with all your friends. Not only because otherwise you would be an ass but also because that is how you make contacts. Contacts have other contacts. At least one of these contacts can potentially help you get that job you really want. As simple as it sounds this cannot be stressed enough.

5) Call up those companies. You have just graduated and you don't have much to do. Why not make use of that time by making some phone calls to make sure you keep on annoying the company's HR department till they give you an interview?! This and the fourth point are really a part of a bigger plan. It is essential these days that you not only make an online application and submit your CV, but also that you make sure that you fight a little bit harder to get an interview. Calling the HR department or the company reception inquiring about their programs or the status of your application can sometimes double your chances of being called for an interview.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with 'fighting' and trying something extra to get that job you really want! It beats passively sitting back and waiting for an interview call. It is just fair to get an interview after which you can try your best to dazzle them.

On getting an interview call,
This will have to wait. It is way past my nee-nee time.

I challenge you to not make awwing sounds.

Finishing In Style

2008-07-16T09:13:00.000-07:00

A while back I had posted a video of someone who really messed it up on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. To be fair, here is another Who Wants To Be A Millionaire video showing what it means to finish in style.

Likes #1

2008-07-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

I would like to be able to "report" things (although I am sure I have my own bias) through my blog rather than expressing too much of my own opinion about them. So I decided to include this one continuous section under which I can discuss things I like and enjoy. It is just so much easier to concentrate on the negatives these days and sharing a bit about whats good in life can't be that bad.

I have always liked the Malay community in Singapore. I know even that is racist in a way but I don't really care. They have very well earned my respect through their actions and I don't feel the need to be politically correct.
The first time I realized how generous they are was during the two flag days I attended. Flag Day is when you go out and ask complete strangers to donate money so that it can be passed onto social organisations that need it. Asking complete strangers if they want to donate money to you is one of the hardest things and it requires a certain humility to stand at a place all day and constantly smile while being given dirty looks and hearing occasional rants about why the students from "rich universities" are collecting money. On such flag days the Malay people of Singapore have been the most generous by far. Almost every single Malay man or woman who passed me readily offered some spare change with a smile! Even women who were carrying shopping bags or attending to 2-3 children voluntarily put everything down and reached for their purses while businessmen and other seemingly rich people of other races walked past.
Malay courtesy also speaks for itself. Visiting even a small Malay coffee shop during the rush morning hours you are bound to get smile along with that nice hot cup of tea. I wasn't shocked to see a large number of Malay citizens on the service awards board at the Ministry of Manpower office. They deserve all the praise.

Every like should also go with a related dislike (or at the least indifference). Service in Singapore usually Sucks. Thats right. It sucks. Theres nothing worse than getting some hot attitude with a hot meal. I think Singaporeans have forgotten that service industry is their thing and all the paying customers are almost a blessing to them. These service standards are not going to work once newer things come in - F1, Casinos and Universal Studios.

An old friend is like a saddled horse.
Afghan Proverb

Parting shot -

Miss Venezuela won Miss Universe 2008. Although the whole contest is just a vehicle for all the cosmetic companies and not to be taken too seriously, I have to agree that I liked her answer.

I am also claiming my blog!

2008-07-13T08:49:00.000-07:00

Following Crazee Insee's footsteps I am also claiming my blog!

I have a lot of stuff to report on but I think it will have to wait till I get a proper setting to sit down and write.

Till then, whoever is reading this can wonderis how come they are one of the very lucky few who manged to stumble onto my blog.

Oh and yes, I like this song -

...and anyone who is ready with jokes about him being gay and all can go fuck themselves!

While we are at it, let me post two more classic songs.

My Way
Frank Sinatra

I just love this song. I would like to be able to sing that when it is all said and done.
Since, you know, Frank Sinatra is dead, you can listen to the guy who sings the next best version. My friend, Surath who plays at Timbre will have you high on some good music in no time.

Lets Stay Together
Al Green

I came across this song when I was listening to the Pulp Fiction Soundtrack. Pulp Fuckin' Fiction is an Excellent movie and so is its soundtrack. More on the movie some other day. For now, listen to Al Green sing.

Smile
Nat King Cole

I am extremely thankful to Damien for introducing me to Nat King Cole's music. Out of all his songs this song has a special meaning for me, mostly because it is a beautiful song that fits any moment.

Ok two more and I am done.

You Never Can Tell
Chuck Berry

The other day I was watching Pulp Fiction (for the trillgazillmillionth time, but this time I had the subtitles on and I noticed the lyrics for this song. At that time it struck me that this song is Everyone's song. It describes any and every other relationship out there at one time or the other. The meanings it has for Vincent Vega and Mia Wallace are "mind-blasting" (stolen from Russell Peters)!

I think I do this with my movies, when I like them I watch them over and over and I still never seem to get tired of watching them. One other movie that I can of course think off the top of my head is Taxi Driver. Ok next post has got to be about Pulp Fiction and Taxi Driver.

Lastly,

Colour My World
Chicago

Listen to this one all the way to the end. All these songs have been examples of songs that "talk" to you. I have tried to exclude any Rock songs as then the list will be highly monopolised by Pink Floyd. Will have to leave classic Rock for some other day (although I am no expert on it).

Tsk, tsk. Written too long already.

Amazon's Kindle and More Web Comics

2008-06-20T02:22:00.000-07:00

I just came across an easy to read review of Amazon's Kindle. The big PDA-like, grossly expensive e-book reader. It is right here at CommonCraft.

Un-Boxing and Getting Started with Amazon's Kindle

Found another interesting article on Crakced.com. This one shows 200 comic strips someone made in under 12 hours.

200 Comics In Under 12 Hours

Now not all of those strips are funny, some are just plain weird and some will take a bit of a non-mainstream humor to appreciate but there are definitely some that are hilarious. Most of them are simple. There are plenty that end with the punchline of 'I slept with your wife' and they work. There are some of people and things getting thrown off a cliff and they also work.

Creative for sure.

In other unrelated news - Inflation in India has risen to 11%. I don't want to say the obvious but that can't possibly be good! Signs of this were obvious a few years back when people were spending in huge amounts. Will this inflation slow down the growth? It will definitely have some kind of a negative effect, but if it will really drive the country into a recession remains to be seen. I am greatly enjoying seeing the country develop at such a fast rate and don't really want to see the growth slow down.

Wolverine #66 was really good and this new story seems to have a lot more potential than the one with Mystique they had in the earlier four issues. Get Mystique started off with a great promise but later on turned out to be more of the same thing. This current story that seems to be taking place in an alternate universe where one day the villains kicked all the heroes asses and now rule the world. Wolverine has now moved to the countryside, lives with his family and does not like to be called anything other than Logan. The area he lives in is ruled by the Hulk's cousins (apparently Hulk's 'family' is some sort of a mafia gang) and they come down to deal out some punishment once they realise that Wolverine's family has failed to pay the month's rent.

It sounds like a huge change from the current Marvel Universe but it is very well written and I am excited to find out what happens if the old Logan decides to take on the bad guys (which he does not do in this issue and lets them kick his ass). Most of the heroes are dead and his struggle will definitely be exciting.

I really wish I had written a review for this issue along with the X-Force issue I reviewed earlier.

X-force: Ain't No Dog Review

2008-06-18T09:19:00.001-07:00

What with the big banner at the top of this blog you might think that I would talk a lot about comics! Well I needed the motivation which comes from reading a really good comic. The kind of motivation you get from reading a really good comic. I think I have found it.

Meet the X-Force one-shot special - Ain't No Dog.

After the Messiah Complex story arc, in the absence of Xavier, Cyclops put X-Force back together as a strike force. The goal of this team was to take down all the scattered divisions of Purifiers and anyone else who in the future might be perceived as a threat to the ever declining post M-Day Mutant population. From Wikipedia - "It was also suggested in an issue of Wizard that Tony Stark aka Iron Man might become a target by forcing mutants to register with the Initiative".

Now that would be bloody awesome to read.

This special issue of X-Force covers two stories, first one of Wolverine and the second one of Warpath. I was a bit shocked to see that they didn't include a story for X-23 and Wolfsbane but I guess those are saved for future one-shots. As it is, these two stories make an awesome 35 page comic (padded with 5 pages from Ultimate Origins, which cannot be a bad thing).

Wolverine has just finished fighting a whole army of henchmen and is holding onto his guts (literally) as he talks to their boss who is hanging upside down from the roof. Here we get the usual internal talk that we are used to from any Wolverine comic but this time hes talking to the boss. Then we cut back to Cyclops briefing Wolverine about the mission and the banter between those two is priceless with many four letter words thrown in.

"Now who's the only D**k in the room, bub?"

As we see that Wolverine decides to take up the mission himself and not let the rest of the team know about it. Then we cut back to the present and more reinforcements have arrived but Wolverine still hasn't finished healing himself. He somehow manages to pull himself out of the way and then pulls his mask down and finishes off the whole new army of henchmen. At the end he informs the boss that he knows that he has been controlling the minds of his henchmen and his mission is to get the chip out of his brain and to Cyclops. Well you can imagine what happens next.

Ok so I guess you don't need to imagine anymore.

This story not only has really good action it also feels meaningful in pitching the team's image to the readers (although one could argue that we have known Wolverine for ages now). What surprised me was how they cleverly brought up the fact that Wolverine has quit smoking and how he would go through a whole field of people without any apparent remorse but would think twice before smoking (from which he would heal instantly) as he has promised 'kitten' that he won't. I am assuming that by kitten here he means Shadowcat or Kitty Pride who died in the recent issue of Astonishing X-men.

I think a lot of people can identify with his struggle with addiction, especially with turning to his addiction when he is left all alone after doing something that couldn't have been easy.

The art for this story is perfect. I didn't find anything that didn't fit in. It was like the art work with the vivid colours and wide brush strokes was made for this kind of a Wolverine story. I am no expert on art and I usually side-step on talking about it but the art really did add to this story rather than hinder it.

This story starring Wolverine was way better than the crap load of Wolverine one-shots that have been coming out these past few months. I understand that Wolverine being one of the flagship characters gets whored way too much, I do not mind it as long as the stories don't reach ridiculously low qualities. They have safely avoided that here.

Moving onto the second story involving Warpath. This story was low on the action but had a much better insight into Warpath's character who I frankly know very little about. To me, he is just a guy with knives. This story explores his guilt over having killed the Purifiers he HAS to kill as a part of his job being a X-Force team member.

The story starts off by Warpath contemplating if he has become someone who kills just for the heck of it. If he is becoming something other than a hunter who hunts to fulfill his needs such as food and clothing. Carrying a knife, he is following a bear's trail in the night because the bear had "shredded"one of the dogs he had and he wants to find this bear.

During this period, the exploration of his haunting guilt really made me understand the dilemma he is facing. Wolverine seems to talk about this at times, but for the first time I realised what it means to have to kill if you are a 'hero'.

As he enters the forest he is attacked from the behind by the bear and he looses his knife. In a bit of a predictable fashion we see that the bear has caught itself in some sort of barbed wire and Warpath has to make the decision between killing it or rescuing it. Of course, he makes the 'right' decision convincing himself that he is still just a hunter and not a killer. Finally, Wolverine comes down to ask him to "suit up" as they are going out on another mission. The final page is interesting as it shows Warpath marking the count of his victims onto a tree.

On reading both the stories one thing stands out - this comic does a great job at drawing parallels (although maybe not too subtly) between Wolverine and Warpath. Wolverine is someone who has been through the dilemmas that Warpath is going through and accepted his faith as a killer. He at times even enjoys a kill due to his animalistic nature. On the other hand, Warpath is 'more human' and stresses over the usual polarity of decisions.

I was already high on X-Force due to the first few issues and now after reading this issue I have been convinced that I am liking the direction in which the series is moving. Last week I was excited to read about the awakening of Archangel and can't wait to see him fight with the team.

I just realised, is it a coincidence that both their names are James?

Rating: 8/10

Others - A Lover Guru related story on BBC. Hindus upset over Hollywood film.
They might have a point there, watch this Hate By Numbers on cracked about the movie. But is it always necessary to be so sensitive? I am sure they are burning Mike Myers effigies in some town center. Let us please try not to sound like fanatics.

Cracks, Holes and Tunnels

2008-06-16T14:32:00.000-07:00

There is one website that is taking up way too much of my time these days.

Cracked.com

This website has some of the funniest videos and articles I have ever read. Some of them can be cheesy, boring and/or obscure but there are quite a few that are definitely very entertaining. Like the one below about a guy who cannot express his feelings properly and so decides to 'hire' a present for his girlfriend.

And also this video. The Terrible Secret Behind the World's Greatest Card Trick.

Some of the stuff is very creative and I always appreciate a vibrant display of someone's imagination. Ok I enjoy that most of the times because there is always the exception of those with some very twisted imaginations. Not that I am judging them. Just that some of them can be quite gross (even to me!). Ok I do judge a few of them. But maybe all of that is for some other day.

I also recently got introduced to Jackass through a Cracked article - The 10 Best Jackass Skits of All-Time. While some of the stunts like getting hit by a car and papercuts were a bit insane, many others were a lot of fun to watch. Their videos usually fall under two categories - a crazy, painful, masochistic physical stunt or a crazy, fool-the-public stunt.
I am not going to pretend as if I am too sophisticated to not like the physical stunts because I did genuinely enjoy watching some of them but the innovative fool-the-public stunts really leave me rolling on the floor. Theres nothing better than watching someone completely fool an unsuspecting victim.

My favourite physical stunts are - the cup test and the self defense test while my fool-the-public stunts include babby-daddy and g0lf course air horn. Some of those might be from their first movie.

The Jackass gang sometimes reminds me of the gang from A Clockwork Orange.

Clockwork Orange was definitely not a movie for everyone. Surely not for those who cringe at the sight of the slightest violent act. It had plenty of those but what it really should be remembered is its intelligent story.

Not to sound too old but - Is the younger generation becoming more and more numb to violent images? I am all for the butterflies breaking out of their cocoons, but how much further is it for us to go if 'Tub Girl' and 'Two Girls and One Cup' are a part of today's Internet meme? Before you even think of searching for either of those on Google, I beg you NOT TO. I was tricked into searching for Tub Girl and I accidentally came across the other one. If you have any regard for your appetite stay away from those.

If you did not heed my advice and did search for both of those then I hope you wiped the puke off your hands before touching that mouse again.

Getting back to the point, how numb and overly curious are people becoming these days now that they have the power to discover at their fingertips? How far should people go in finding out? Where does sane curiosity end and a twisted mind begin? What leads to people becoming more and more comfortable in passing judgment against other people who have tastes and habits (to satisfy their curiosities) that are more and more further from whats socially acceptable in the society?

I can honestly claim that I am very curious. I have very normal habits but I am interested in knowing more and more which makes me feel a bit like Cate Blanchett's character from the recent Indian Jones movie. After all she does get punished for 'wanting to know all the secrets'. I think this insane curiosity comes from my habit of reading books. I hate waiting somewhere doing nothing, when I could be reading about something new!

I have been thinking a lot about these things a lot recently and I would really love to get some insight into how people think and what motivates them to either conform or rebel, follow or lead, explore their own curiosities or hide from the society.

Enough of all that.

The new Hulk movie seems to be doing very well. I can't wait to go back home and watch it. I heard rumors that Captain America was going to make an appearance in this movie and that the scenes were also shot but in the end the decision to not include them was made. The scenes will be included on the DVD.

I wonder what honest opinions people have regarding comic books? I think if I start on those then it will be a completely separate post worth of material.

To finish off, a recent story I read on BBC about goods being smuggled from Egypt into Palestine.
Is it safe to say that this conflict will NEVER be solved? I think so.

Reading these stories gives a real feel for how clueless we sometimes are about what is happening in the world and how this is probably just a tip of what else is going on out there. I don't want to make reference to the famous 'Out There' but I just feel it is appropriate to describe the physical 'disconnection' we feel with the outer world even as we are loading our brains with information about everything starting from Paris Hilton to Darfur.

A great Q&A on BBC explaining what affects Oil prices. I usually find it boring to read such information but this article puts it across very well.

On a lighter note.

Some Select Funny Web Comic Strips

2008-06-14T07:13:00.000-07:00

I just came across some funny web comics. Always appreciate some creativity.
By the way all have been taken from pbfcomics.com

For a while I didn't know what they were referring to when they said Cave Explorer but then the comics makes it very clear.

A new take on Hangman.

Well this one is also funny but its mainly here because I know of a friend who for NO reason at all once pulled on the fire alarm.

Reminds me of the time I had to wear glasses for a few years when I was very young.

I guess this would be just as true if the 82 was changed to 08.

I guess we are supposed to draw parallels about men being chauvinistic pigs and women begin...well...cows but all I can think of is - thats one bad-ass cow!

When hiring different companies look for different things. They aren't necessarily looking for the best candidate.
I am sure that statement felt good to most of us.

I think this one is great to finish off with!

I guess one more wouldn't hurt.

Indian Nationalism or Fascism?

2008-06-11T10:03:00.000-07:00

Some issues really are a lot clearer when seen from far. When in India, I never noticed the inconsistency between what was taught to us in the classroom and what was actually happening around us. The Civics text books taught us about India being a Secular state while at the same time our lives were drenched in Hinduism.

Now if you were around at the time you would instinctively jump up and say "Well almost 100% of the people around at that time were Hindu! What do you expect you!?".

I agree. There were very few people from other religions and races around. And just for the record, I loved all the Hindu holidays we celebrated. Walking around in the night during Diwali and seeing all the well dressed people enjoy themselves while a constant 4-day volley of fireworks goes off was priceless.

The scary part is that how far did we go? After living such a life are we accepting of other people? How far did we go with our Nationalism? Has it spilled over the very thin border that Nationalism shares with Fascism?

Rakesh Sharma provides a very educating, informative and at the same time horrifying insight into the current Indian state of Gujarat and the riots it faced in 2002. Final Solution.

And today the grip of discrimination is expanding. Enter Raj Thakeray.

Apologise for the lack of an English translation. In short, he extracts a quote from a book about Tamil people not allowing non-Dravidians into their political system and then asks why the Marathi man shouldn't do the same.

Again I can hear voices claiming that such events and people are just extremists and that we are generally accepting people who will never stoop to such levels. Again, I agree. We will probably never go around breaking glass windows and covering Ronald McDonald in cow dung. We actually are much more powerful that that. We vote. Without getting too political I will just point you to the fact that Narendra Modi was re-elected after there was clear evidence of him at least having ignored the Gujarat riots allowing the brutal massacre of hundreds.

"He was elected again for a third term on December 23 2007 with an emphatic win in regional state elections, which he had cast as a 'referendum on his rule' "

Why did people still vote for him? Is it that they fear loosing this one man who will protect and advance the Hindu cause? Do people see him as a necessary evil?

I don't need to say too much when Rakesh Sharma's documentary, Final Solution, very subtly puts its point across without even preaching a single thing.

While you are in the mood for some societal introspective also take a look at these videos from Journeyman Pictures.

Disclaimer: Yash is no expert on Politics. He barely knows as much as any 6 year old. What he does claim to have enough of is common sense.

Chinese babies named 'Olympic Games'. I guess if we collect all the insults and jokes thrown at these some 4000 kids throughout their lifetime we can definitely write one top-selling book!

First question wrong on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

2008-06-11T01:42:00.000-07:00

Shame

"Our product is explanation."

2008-06-10T13:47:00.000-07:00

The title pretty much sums up what my first ever post is about. That is the slogan for a website called Common Craft. A very useful website with interesting snippets of web related information but as the slogan says, what they do best is explain. Let me demonstrate through an example.

The video above by Common Craft explains the purpose of RSS and its use in a way such that the most technologically illiterate among us will understand. I for sure didn't have a complete idea of what RSS is all about before I saw this video. Now I spend at least an hour looking at links from my favourite websites as they easily get updated in my RSS reader. Try it and you will know the difference it makes.