What I am doing tomorrow

Dear all,

This mail might come as a surprise to some of you and to some others I am sure it would seem like something I would do.

India has seen a lot of scams being uncovered last and this year. A lot of our tax money that the Government gave out for various 'projects' has gone towards filling the pockets of a very few. While we ride on clogged up roads with sewage covers and pothole risking our lives everyday a few others have been wiring bucket loads of cash to their swiss bank accounts.

We see a lot of high profile cases now where people are getting arrested (Suresh Kalmadi) so that should mean that we have a bright future to look forward to right?

At least I thought so and I saw the new UID initiative, lamely named Aadhar, as a part of this brighter future. We were moving towards a system that a lot of other countries already have in place; like the Social Security Number in the US and NRIC in Singapore. In short, the UID is going to be a unique number that identifies you for which they will be capturing and storing your finger prints, retinal scans, name, address and so on. This will then be used for getting a bank account, registering for LPG, getting a passport and all the very important tasks where till now you had to submit shit-loads of paperwork.

That all sounds good right?

Leaving aside the not-so-good implications of the methods they are using, I was still excited about getting my own UID card so that when I visit 'places where identity/birth date proof is required' I wouldn't have to carry my passport! The situation on the ground is a lot worse. People have complained about finger print scanning machines taking as long as half an hour. Long queues that would make you turn back and go home. Extremely rude people at assigned centers who close the center hours before closing time! In one case, they are reportedly closing it at 4pm when its supposed to be open till 7 pm!

Talking about my personal experience, today I visited one of the UID centers for my area and I found the doors locked. The guy standing there threateningly informed me that the queue inside is too long and that they are closing the gates now knowing that if they can 'only handle these many people before closing time'. There are other cases of old people facing similar problems.

There are so many questions I have!
Where are the advertisements/announcements announcing the locations of these centers? Has all advertising space been taken up by hoardings advertising the birthdays of some shades-wearing, covered in gold politician?!

Why are these centers supplied with faulty equipment? What is the point of standing in the queues for 4 hours (as a couple told us today) when the machines don't even work?

How do I even know that they are doing a good job of capturing my data?

Why should I even rush to get my UID done?

How is it that these organizations (usually schools) that were PAID for hosting these centers are locking their doors before closing time and turning us back?

Why am I the only one who is feeling very very angry about this?

Are we so apathetic now that we are way beyond any kind of help?!

As you can see, I have started to lose it.

My solution to all this
I am going to make a documentary. The center near my place closes on Saturday and I am going to go there with my camera and record everything. Record how the gates are locked. Record the accounts of people who are coming out. Record experiences of people who have been through the process. And even record the inside of the center if I can. And then I am going to publicize it as much as I can.

I am going to be there to do what I can. These people need to know that they can't so easily f*%k with us and get away with it. I have my camera and microphone and that is all that I will need. If anyone else is willing to join in please do let me know because I can use all the help I can get. We are not going there to protest, merely to record but I can't promise you that it won't get ugly...so if you do join in, do so at your own risk.

That is all from me. Yes it is another long mail from Yash but if this doesn't get you out of your seats and make you feel like doing something then it surely wasn't long enough.

That is all from me.

If you are interested please do contact me.

Take care and be safe.

All Smoke And No Fire

As I knocked on the door of my boss's office for what I believed the last time I couldn't help but be conscious about the thick layer of sweat on my body.

"Please come in." My boss had always been very courteous and friendly.

I almost stumbled to the chair across from where he was seated at his table. He looked at me with a beaming smile. I don't know how long I stared back at him but it felt like I was seeing him for the first time. He was leaning back in his bed-like chair. Dressed in his typical white shirt and light brown pants he wore his dusty grey hair in a ruffled manner.

"I heard you wanted to talk to me about something?" He tried to break the awkward silence.

As if woken out of a trance I hastily pushed the piece of paper I was holding towards him. It slid smoothly across the table and came to a stop in front of him. At the time at least it felt like a confident and defiant gesture to me.

He read through the paper faster than I had imagined. I was hoping that I would get some time to calm my nerves while he read through why I had decided to quit. He looked up at me without any shock or anger on his face. I was surprised.

"So I guess this is the part where we talk about this huh? And I will be doing my best to retain you. You know that. Why don't you go first? Tell me why you want to leave us." He said, almost with a huge grin on his face as if he was welcoming me to the company.

I readily jumped into the speech I had prepared.
"It all started a few years ago - "

"Yes I am listening." He interrupted.

"- I was going through some rough time, just like a lot of my peers at the time were. Before that year I would have never imagined myself doing this work but I think something inside me snapped that year. My friend introduced me and I liked how the work we do here made me feel. It took me a long time to accept what I had become. I rationalized my decisions saying it was just something I did when I was not in my senses. Or that I can quit any day - "

"I am sure it wasn't all bad!" He interrupted again.

"- no it wasn't. The work helped me destress. It seemed like it was taking all my troubles away in an instant. I could always bond with old and new friends over work and I sure have some good memories of that. But now I know that was just an illusion."

He gave me a look of total confusion. Was he deliberately trying to throw me off? I continued.

"It is affecting my health. It is affecting my relationships. And I know that it will affect other people around me. It only used to take up one or two hours of my life but now it has reached a point where it takes up my whole day. It is the first thing I think of when I wake up. When I go to sleep. After a meal. After a drink. After pretty much everything. I have become dependent. I think...I mean..I know I want to quit!"

I immediately regretted faltering at the end and I felt him pouncing on the opportunity. He sat up in his chair and started with a patronizing tone.

"You have all valid concerns there. If something was affecting my life that way I would have quit long time ago. But I am not sure that you are facing these problems because of the work we do here. We have had cases like yours before and you know - we always take care of our own. They all had inherent psychological or physical problems and we got them the help they needed!"

"I don't - " I wanted to inform him of my completely reliable sanity.

"Hear me out. Here, at this firm, we care for our employees. Our own people. I am afraid that you will make a rash decision here and then regret it later. Quitting now, at this age, you will miss out on hanging out with your friends every single day. You must agree that things will never be the same with them. And not only will you lose your friends, there have been plenty of cases in the past where an employee quit and he could not handle being away from this work. That only led to his otherwise normal relationships with his family and friends getting worse and worse till one day - he snapped! And he had to come begging for his job. We of course welcomed him but why did he have to go through all that unnecessary embarrassment?!"

He had worked himself up into a mild frenzy and he paused for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he leaned forward and almost continued in a whisper.

"Look. I am not asking you to do this work for your whole life. Enjoy it while you can and then quit. Look at you. You are so young! This isn't the time for you to worry about all this..."

I knew where he was going with all this. I had heard his speech before. All this time I had been almost cowering. I sat up straight and looked him in the eye.

"No. Sir. I want to quit. That is my final decision." My voice resounded with a hollow confidence.

He looked at me as if I had suddenly left him with no choice.

"It didn't have to be like this. I never wanted things to come to this but..."
He trailed off as he searched through a file in his desk drawer.

He pulled out a piece of paper and slid it towards me. A photocopy of a letter with my signature on it. I did not remember signing it.

"...I know you don't remember signing that. But you did. This is no way to retain an employee and I am always against using such trumps but you leave me no choice. Read it."

I could swear his eyes were glowing red and it felt like he had suddenly grown a lot taller and wider as he leaned forward in his chair. His presence saturated the room. He surely meant business.

I couldn't believe what I was reading. The writing on that page was brief but it aptly captured everything without leaving any loopholes.

"I...I...I signed off my life? What is this nonsense? You expect me to believe this crap?"

"Believe what you want but understand this. I. Own. You. This company owns you. You signed off your life. You will be a slave to this work till I want you to be." Each word of his was cutting through my brain.

Then it happened. A sudden flash of a memory long forgotten. A drunken night at an office party. Someone offering me the letter and me in my intoxicated state not thinking twice before signing it. That was the night when I started the work and that was the only night when I enjoyed it the most. I felt cool and I felt closer to my friends. We were one in death. At least we suddenly were riding along the same fatal roads to an eventual premature demise. I felt like I had reached a new high.

"How conveniently you had forgotten all about it!" My boss could read my mind.

I knew there was nothing more to say. The situation was not impossible. I could fight it. But everything else that he had said about me regretting my decision suddenly started weighing on my mind. I felt my resolve complete snap and dissolve.

Shakily I got off the chair and turned around without looking at him. As I reached the door I heard him call my name. He was again leaning back on his chair the way he was when I entered the room. He again had that courteous smile on his face. He had me. He owned me.

"I am glad we could have this talk. Welcome back."

I let the door close lightly behind me as I walked back to my desk. I knew once I reached there I would be able to de-stress myself by getting lost in some work. Other colleagues, Other friends around me were lost in their work. I wondered how many of them had attempted to quit.

Suddenly, not being alone on this road didn't seem like much of a consolation.

10 Intelligent Solutions For Fixing Pune's Traffic Woes

Given below are my entirely serious opinions on how to fix traffic problems in Pune.

1. Teach people to drive on the correct side. Driving on the wrong side can get them killed.

2. You should always overtake someone from their right. Trying to overtake someone from their left will get you killed.

3. If you are a slow vehicle stick to the left side of the road. We don't have lanes on most roads but do use your common sense. Sitting inside your little box, slowly rolling along the road you might feel like you are breaking the sound barrier but you are not even travelling at speed that would kill a fly if it hits your windshield. If you don't follow this simple rule then the other drivers have the right to (I might say it is their duty) to nudge your vehicle forcefully till it is pushed off the road.

4. Cutting someone off when they are peacefully driving is not right. If you were having a peaceful meal and I came and shoved a fork in your eye you wont like it. Same applies here.

5. Don't buy a car in a city where the roads are barely big enough to accommodate one. You are a bigger idiot if you buy one of those cars with a big ass. Not only do you block the rest of the traffic, you yourself are like a huge rock in the middle of a river. Good luck getting anywhere dumb-ass!

6. While we are on the subject, don't use your big vehicle to bully other smaller vehicles (like motorbikes). Threatening to kill someone smaller just so that you can cut them off on the road automatically earns you a punch to the face (this is the nicest punishment ever).

7. Don't park your in front of parking spaces. It makes you look like you have been failing kindergarten for the past 20 years. If such vehicles are found other drivers can surely go ahead and dismantle it to its bare parts and spread those parts all over the city (Hint: The exhaust will be hidden inside the owner of the car!).

8. Taking a wedding procession out in the middle of an extremely busy road is only going to earn you curses from thousands of people. Surely not how you wanted to spend your special day. In fact I guess you deserve them if you think loudly playing hot, hot Bollywood numbers is the highlight of your wedding and the start to a successful marriage.

9. Don't take shit from corrupt police. They are the scum of the land. They are employed so that they can serve us. The way things are now, its like a bunch of parasites are ruling over us. Stop being such sheeple.

10. If you are a pedestrian understand the hierarchy. Walking in front of a fast moving vehicle and signalling them to stop while you cross the road is a sure way of ending up with major fractures (if not worse). Don't frustrate the drivers so much that they start designing a game called 'Who flattens the most pedestrians!'.

But yash, killing or torturing these people is hardly going to solve anything!

I have felt the frustration and the risk of dying because of them.

So better them than me.

Smell Of Solitude

Cold wall. The whirring sound of a broken fan. Distant sound of traffic. Quiet of the night. Stale smell of trapped air.

Fingers typing. Faster and faster. Vainly trying to maintain conversations.

Hungry stomach. Light headed. Smoke in the air. Empty space.

Wet eyes. Surge of anger. Fighting self. Helplessness. Embarrassment. Resolve. Repeating. Cyclic.

No hope.

Tempting end. Craving for a conclusion. Taking control. Loosing control. Holding on. Wanting to let go.

Brief pain. Permanent relief.

I am

I am more than life
Death has little sway
I am more than my presence
I exist even in my absence
I am unlimited energy
I am unwavering resolve
I can call upon an infinite strength
I can conquer fear
I ride my anger at the speed of light
I drink in all the happiness
And not care for hollow actions
I try to make the most of each second

One day you will say I am gone
One day you won't sense me anymore
My organs will stop
My thoughts will stagnate
They might bury, burn or freeze me
But know this,
I will always be here
Forever strong.

Dedicated to recent deaths.

Silly Girl

AKA "A nice thing from the past"

This story is about a cute girl. A cute pretty little girl. Her mind was very different to the rest. Which made it harder for them to understand her. Yes even the people who were close to her.

Silly was just different. She tried to think in ways most people couldn't even imagine. This sometimes confused her. And almost always confused the people around her.

They would always say. "Silly you are so complicated! " "Silly I don't understand but I don't think you are right." Sometimes they even said - "hmmmm".

So silly decided. She was going to find the simplest truth. She assumed that would solve all of her troubles. An answer to all of her questions. The ultimate truth.

Taking the simplest way, she went to the nearest wise holy man. But he just looked at her all confused just like the rest of them. "Silly, what you ask for is too complicated!", he said. "If I knew of such a truth I wouldn't just be sitting here. I would be the richest man in the world!"

Not at all dejected by the current reply silly skipped and skipped till she reached her friends. She decided she will try asking them. After all they knew her better than some random wise guy! They looked at her as if she was asking them something that was too mature for them. "We are just kids silly! Lets just be that. Lets play and have fun. Leave all these difficult questions to the adults.", they argued.

Not giving up, silly decided that she will give it one more go. She went to her mother. She assumed that her mother was the wisest woman around who knew her well and was also fairly mature. She had seen the world and she must be very knowledgeable! Silly's mommy looked at her with a smile. She picked her up and gave her a kiss on her nose. Silly knew that she had finally found the right person to ask. Her mother knows the answer!

Sillys mother said, "Silly I love you. There is only one truth in the world. Be who you are. Love yourself for who you are! Everything else will surely become simple. That is the answer that will make all your answers simple." Sillys mother gave her another kiss and put her down.

For a while silly was satisfied. She thought she had found the answer! But then she realised that she couldn't define who she was! And how is she supposed to love something she doesn't completely know. And what if she changes tomorrow? Now she was more confused than ever!

She slowly walked over to the mirror and sighed. "I don't think I will ever figure this out," Suddenly a voice said "hi".

Silly looked up and saw her reflection in the mirror waving at her! It said, "Silly, what our mother said is true. Learn to love yourself. But you should also understand that you already know the simple truth. You already know it!"

"The simple truth is to always question. Always ask why. Never be satisfied with what you know. Always learn. And dont be ashamed to learn. Once you get over the fear of asking questions all the answers will come easily. You will have the courage to ask anyone."

Silly now understood that life is complicated. Just like her. And that is what makes it so much fun. She vowed that from now on she will ask as many questions as she can. And know a lot!

After all being curious was her own special natural gift...

Like Mother, Like Son

"...and we are going live in 1...2..."

"Channel 4. Your trusted source for Real news."

"Good evening and welcome to the last segment of our program. I am Jim, your host for tonight, and we just had an intense conversation with the unbeatable Fashion Mogul of today - Paricè Towers. I never knew that the colour of your socks was so important to who and what you are. Thank you for that one Ms. Towers."

"Our next guest is Mrs. Houl. Now, most of you who are wondering who Mrs. Houl is let me remind you of a story we did a few weeks ago when a young man,her son, was ridiculed by the residents of his town for lying. We all lie but this story made the news because of the scale of this lie. The young man who tended to his sheep daily, understandably, got bored of this tiresome job and chose to play a prank on the people around by pretending that his sheep were being attacked by a pack of wolves. After hearing his cry for help a large mass of residents gathered with sticks and shotguns and scaled the hill that evening, only to find a lone snickering young man staring back at them. Despite the mounting anger and physical threats towards his nonchalant attitude, the young man, who shall remained un-named as per Mrs. Houl's request, went on to continue pulling his pranks at regular intervals until one day when a pack of wolves actually descended onto his flock and cleaned them out. He himself was injured when he made a futile attempt to protect the sheep. The phrase 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf' was coined right here on this network."

"Since then, the young man and his family have received no sympathy or consideration from the town folk but Mrs. Houl is here to discuss with a matter of even graver importance. According to her, her son was abducted a few days ago and despite her efforts she has not been able to find any clues for his whereabouts."
"Mrs. Houl, would you like to elaborate on why you are here today?"

"I am here to find my son. We have had plenty of sleepless nights looking for him. He could be out there right now and the people in that *beep* *beep* town of ours - "

"Mrs. Houl."

" - need to get off their - "

"Mrs. Houl! Please refrain from using words like those. We are live on National Television and we do have rules. You have this excellent opportunity to save your son. To tell the world about what really happened to your son. We all understand your frustration - "

"No Jim. You don't. Do you have a son? If your son were to be disappear you would turn everything upside down till you found him and all these people watching would be with you. I called up the Police and they told me that he will come back some day. I even talked to the Mayor. No one seems to care! No one cares and everyone is OK with not caring. They all think that they know what is going on. That this is just another prank my boy is pulling on them."

"Mrs. Houl. We will get to that. But please first tell us what exactly happened."

"...Everyone knows that my son was tending to sheep but what no one knows is that those sheep did not belong to us. They were from Filch's farm - "

"Mr. Filch? The business tycoon?"

"Yes! That *beep* *beep* *beep* - "

"Mrs. Houl! I am sorry but next time my crew will be forced to cut your mic."

"...Mr. Filch, owned those sheep. My son was just tending to them. He was severely Dyslexic and this was the best job he could find at the time. Even when people were angry at him for playing those pranks he barely understood what he was doing wrong. When the sheep were killed we started getting threatening phone calls from someone asking for $10000 for the two dozen or so sheep killed. When we were unable to pay the money by the last week of March my son disappeared. He left home to buy bread and that was the last I saw of him."

"There could be several reasons for your son's disappearance. Maybe he ran away from home. Maybe he, god forbid, met with an accident. Maybe he was abducted by someone else."

"No! I know the voice of that SON OF A...Sorry. I know Filch's voice. I know his ways. You think being filthy rich stops him from caring about a few sheep? He will gather every single dollar and if he can't he will come after your family. He likes to get personally involved in such matters. Believe me Jim. I know my boy is somewhere out there, kidnapped by Filch's men. They are just waiting for their money and any day now I am going to get a phone call from the."

"Mrs. Houl, what if there is no phone call? How long are you going to believe that he was kidnapped by Mr. Filch before you decide to look for other reasons your son might have disappeared?"

"That time won't come. Call it mother's instinct Jim. I know my son is not the brightest out there but I know he won't get into any trouble. Any accident. He won't go longer than a day without informing me where he is going and when he will be back. If he hasn't done that it can only mean that he was taken by force."

"Now Mrs. Houl, your son is not as innocent as you make him sound. Frankly speaking, he has been nothing short of a nuisance for the community for a while now and even then, all this time, supported your son. You defended him for the public disturbance he had caused.There is a reason why people are skeptical about this. Let me give you an example, you say that you haven't slept for days. That you are exhausted. But looking at you no one would guess that. How are the people supposed to believe you this time?"

"Does it really matter? Do you really think what people believe matters to me? My son is missing! And if he is not found soon then he will most likely be killed! I just wish these *beep*-ING PEOPLE WOULD GET OVER THEIR HURT EGOS AND DO SOME *beep**beep**beep* THINGS *beep**beep* - "

"Thats all the time we have for today. Despite repeated warnings Mrs. Houl continued with using abusive words on air and we have an obligation to our viewers to avoid such content. We apologize for any inconvenience."

"Please join us tomorrow on Channel 4 where we will be talking to Ms. America winner Ms. White, followed by another lupine interview with a girl who claims that she was abused by a "wolf" who murdered her grandmother. Till then, Good Night and remember - the truth doesn't get more real."